The Massive Explosion

As a new mother I didn't really think some things my two older sisters, Lindsey and Katy who have children, told me were true. For instance, the constant need of the little one wanting to be in your lap when you just said "I have to pee" or when you want to have a decent conversation with another human being on the phone. It is at that very moment they want to be held and nurtured and think mommy is the best. I sort of knew about the obsessiveness to tattle-telling on the older sibling every 5 minutes from my niece Annabelle, but it was still something I had to witness to know was actually true. They both, Lindsey and Katy, have taught me a lot about what to expect out of motherhood these first few months, as has my own mom, but no one actually warned me about the massive explosions that would hit you right after you get out of the shower and have on fresh new clothes and your hair is smelling all clean and you feel just fabulous. Nope, not a single one of them. Let me make your day and explain...


The explosion happened today, at approximately 3:05 MDT. I had just taken a relaxing shower while Colton sat in the carseat cooing away at the steam fogging up the mirror. Yes, he was in the bathroom with me since Chad was at work and I cannot bare to leave him alone just yet. I had gotten out of the shower, dried off and promptly went to put on fresh smelling clothes when I smelled an odor. Not a usual odor, a very foul, wants to make you gag, odor. I thought it may be the one who was still cooing away and smiling at me as I had the most puzzled look on my face trying to figure out where the rank odor could be coming from as I had just taken a shower and it couldn't be my hair anymore (he has spit up in it earlier). I knew I probably shouldn't have, but I did it anyways...I sniffed his hinny. EWWW!!! It was him! I thought to myself, how could someone so small, smell so terrible. As I peeled off his nightgown and lifted his hinny to pull off the onesie, my hand hit something mushy and slimy...it was his rank poo. GROSS! As I almost hurled, he continued to laugh. I gently tried pulling it off of him but it was going everywhere, his back, his arms, his legs, and then the worst, his hair. He was squirming away, but seemed to not care about the foul odor or the fact that he was covered in his own poo. I went to throw the dirty onesie in the clothes basket, but somehow it got stuck on my fingers and flung back on me! AAAGGGHHHH!!! I whined and then decided that was it, we were going to take a bath. He normally doesn't like bath time, but for some reason he thoroughly enjoyed this one! After he was all clean and laying their in a daze on the monkey towel, he decided that he liked bath time so much that he would take another....that is right, he went poo again, a massive one AGAIN, all over the clean towel and bedspread. Oh dear. How could he have that much built up inside I wondered. Then, after his second bath of the day within 10 minutes of each other he felt that it was time for a good, long nap. Well, I would too had I just taken 2 bathes and experienced what could only be described as out of this world explosions! I would have taken a nap as well, but someone has to clean the dirty mess up, as well as clean themselves off again. 


I am hoping that since he made two in one day that I can expect a break in the massive explosion realm and look forward to just little disturbances in the pampers-huggies world! 


I actually want to thank Lindsey and Katy for that experience because I now know not to eat chicken and mushroom pasta ever again! Well, at least while I am nursing!